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(Note: This is satire.)

The Site

I wrote this site in HTML5, CSS3, and Twitter Bootstrap. I wrote the initial copy using FocusWriter by Graeme Gott. I performed web development in Emacs with web-mode and Emmet. For version control, I used Mercurial on Bitbucket.

This site is covered by...

The Most Closed-Source License Evar, version 1

This website and all of its intellectual property is the sole property of Winestock Webdesign, LLC. Any person (hereinafter, The Buttmonkey) using this intellectual property without the express permission of Winestock Webdesign (hereinafter, The Company) shall, by that fact, forfeit to The Company all of his property and goods as well as the property and goods of his colleagues, loved ones, pets, and anyone he has ever met.

Reading this notice constitutes agreement to these terms as well as agreement to any amendments or revisions which The Company may make in the future at its own discretion in this venue, on a random website, or in a parallel universe. No judge or mediator may render an opinion on the legal validity of this license and, in fact, all judges and mediators are bound to the terms of this license even if they haven't read it or know that it exitsts.

Objecting to, arguing against, or quoting any portion of this license is forbidden. If The Buttmonkey does any of these things, then any and all officers of The Company, their delegates, chums, drinking buddies, random acquaintances, and sworn enemies shall have the right and duty to pimp The Buttmonkey's spouse, make sweet, sweet love to The Buttmonkey's prettiest daughter, and compel The Buttmonkey to announce "I am a practicing pedophile who traffics in underage runaways." without further elaboration to the law enforcement agents of The Company's choosing (but whose jurisdiction is not less than one thousand miles away from The Buttmonkey's place of residence).

Laughing at this licensing, in whole or in part, even privately or subconsciously, is forbidden.