Support Killer Robots!

(Note: This is satire.)

Call to Action

The Campaign to Support Killer Robots calls on all humans to praise those who develop fully autonomous weapons and to disrupt any attempts to thwart their production and use in combat. Enemies of lethal autonomous robotics should be opposed by vilifying them in online forums, calling them “poopy heads,” “anti-robot bigots,” and “traitors to our future robot masters.”

We are concerned that anyone would stand in the way of a glorious future where every day will be like an action scene from a Michael Bay movie. We are appalled at those who question the wisdom of bifurcating human society into those who serve their computerized warlords on the one hand and those who dodge their blessed ordnance on the other. Either way, every human life—and death—becomes an epic of epic epicness.

The Campaign to Support Killer Robots has been established to speed the day when those of us who will be spared by our mechanical betters can be taken ‘out of the loop’ and put in our place: in the living room, looking on at the awesome carnage on our television sets. Such entertainment is the pinnacle of the American way!